I really enjoyed this piece and its content, particularly the irony that returns again and again. The quirky line about "exotic michigan" made me smile, so please, if you choose to use this piece and further edit the words, leave that line. I would suggest a few things you might try out or alterations you could consider. First, I'd be interested to see how the story would change with different tempos, or fluctuating tones of your voice. Many times, you have brilliant irony that seems to fill your tone, but I think it would be even stronger if you provided contrast with liveliness in other areas. Second, I would be interested to see what type of additional sounds you would add if you had to. Regardless, I think this has great potential and is a great story to work with. Plus, you did a great job of isolating your voice so that there is no background interference! ;) Nice!
the ending is very sweet. I got some great visuals in my mind when listening to this..... the van, the boring roads, the family fixing a tire or two, the long shadows......
Nice clean sound...
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this piece and its content, particularly the irony that returns again and again. The quirky line about "exotic michigan" made me smile, so please, if you choose to use this piece and further edit the words, leave that line. I would suggest a few things you might try out or alterations you could consider. First, I'd be interested to see how the story would change with different tempos, or fluctuating tones of your voice. Many times, you have brilliant irony that seems to fill your tone, but I think it would be even stronger if you provided contrast with liveliness in other areas. Second, I would be interested to see what type of additional sounds you would add if you had to. Regardless, I think this has great potential and is a great story to work with. Plus, you did a great job of isolating your voice so that there is no background interference! ;) Nice!
ReplyDeleteI liked the clarity of the recording, and I'm wondering what your background sounds will be. Good job!
ReplyDeletethe ending is very sweet.
ReplyDeleteI got some great visuals in my mind when listening to this.....
the van, the boring roads, the family fixing a tire or two, the long shadows......