Monday, April 5, 2010

Another day another draft.



So here is what I have been working on with my final project but I got some really helpful feedback from Stephanie and Megan today. I am going to rethink the narration, maybe put in present tense and try to give it more energy. I have a lot of work to do before next week so don't be surprised if my final draft sounds vastly different than this one.
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5 comments:

  1. AlexApril 5, 2010 at 12:56 PM

    i liked the contrast between the narration and the parents talking, but i guess i'd still like more sounds....

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  2. Emily CedarApril 5, 2010 at 1:36 PM

    I like the attention to detail like your mother's dress and father's accent. You have a great voice for this, but I agree with adding more energy! Cool stuff though, this has come a long way! I can't wait to hear the final product : )

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  3. Eleanor SchmittApril 5, 2010 at 4:03 PM

    Really interesting, Hannah. Is there any way your parents could be a little higher in the mix? I'm sure the room tone and the quality of the recording might get in the way, but you seem a bit loud in comparison to them.

    I'd love to hear this in present tense! Looking forward to hearing the final draft.

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  4. Michelle FolkmanApril 6, 2010 at 5:48 AM

    Wow the additions really changed it - very nice. I cant wait to hear the next version

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  5. Stephanie Spencer SmithApril 11, 2010 at 8:31 PM

    Hi Hannah,

    First off, thanks for commenting and giving me some feedback. I think your next draft will be brilliant and good work so far.

    I'm curious how the next revision will mold the two stories together: your mom and dad meeting, your dad's accident, and the final scene where you're on the road with him driving behind

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